chastity

big years circle around the glare
of a boy
it's his birthday some one said and gave him his quest for joy
while the haze rests hastily in my vampire-night
with every now and then a blink
occult
like her laugh on the happy saturday,

bleeding its soul on us
until we were wet with spirit and cigarette smoke
and love
was wine in an undrinkable cup
not for us, you said and meant it
- how can i hold your cup and not drink from it? i asked
- hold your breath, she said

hah! now i laugh! yes wolves, howl!
the moon is just one night away but we cannot sleep
not now!

here are mountains high
here the world is small
with grand moments like satellites
of this hideous present
blue smoke from your stroboscopic eternity
because that's what remains when even flames freeze

and through the bars of my mirror
answers flash like bats
like roosters crying one, two, three times,
sometimes more times
sometimes continuously

but often just as a silent sting